Newswise, June 27, 2017 — Loves me,
loves me not. Turns out that anxiety over that very question may be detrimental
to the long-term success of a relationship.
In a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Florida State University graduate student Ashley
Cooper explores how high levels of fluctuation in how secure an individual
feels in his or her relationship may actually doom its success.
“For people anxious in their
attachments, they have anxiety as to whether the person is going to be there
for them and whether they are worthy of others,” said Cooper, a second-year doctoral
student in the College of Human Sciences. “I was interested in how attachment
security impacted partners’ experiences in their relationship on a daily basis.
Some couples experience instability from one day to the next in their
relationship, so we sought out to explore what could increase or decrease this
volatility.”
Cooper and her colleagues found that
individuals who experience high levels of anxiety about their partner’s
commitment were likely to experience more volatility in their feelings about
the relationship from one day to the next. Furthermore, when women experienced
this anxiety, their male partners experienced similar volatility in their
feelings about the relationship.
Researchers interviewed 157 couples
and asked them a series of questions about how the couples communicated their
attachment to each other, how comfortable they were in emotionally connecting
with their partners, their relationship satisfaction and the type of conflict
that existed in the relationship.
Of the sample, 74 percent of the
participants were dating and nearly 50 percent of participants were in
relationships of two years or less.
Researchers specifically looked at
the couples in which one or both partners experienced high attachment avoidance
— that is, behaviors associated with the distrust of relying on other people —
and attachment anxiety — behaviors associated with fears regarding consistent
care and affection.
When an individual reported high
attachment avoidance, both the individual and partner reported generally low
levels of relationship satisfaction or quality. When individuals reported high
attachment anxiety, there tended to be increased volatility in relationship
quality.
Cooper said the findings will be
helpful to clinicians involved in premarital or couples counseling and for
individuals who experience drastic differences in their feelings about their
relationships from day to day.
“For the average person, stay
attuned to what your partner is saying and avoid making assumptions that can
escalate conflict,” she said. “Trusting in your partner and your relationship
is important to daily interactions and stability for your relationship.”
Other researchers who contributed to
this study are Casey Totenhagen from the University of Alabama, Brandon
McDaniel from Illinois State University and Melissa Curran from the University
of Arizona.
